Blob Grip

Blob Grip
I want to be a writer, what do you think? PS: I'm 13?

Cold-sector such as hands grabbed me with such force that it sent waves of fear the Back down. It's not loosen his hand, but it was also the grip firmly. The pain in my left arm was unbearable, I began to feel sweat run down my arm, or was it sweat, I felt? The light was standing next to me I write is not enough light to see what's behind me, just so much to see what is before me. I was struck with horror when I saw my left arm. Not only was there blood dripping from my shoulder to the tip of the index finger, but there was also purple blobs and patches to up and down in the same arm. In the time that all this was in the same hour, perhaps even days, what has happened. But in reality it was only a matter of seconds. The hand left me I turned quickly around to see who had grabbed me or what, but nobody was there. It was only me, the peach on the corner and stood Dry Creek Rd.

Yay! I have this Question again (I said it about 5 minutes to say just come on the screen that you have deleted it-_-) Anyway – Honestly, it sounds very weird and I like the details, you provide. BUT … (and that's just my opinion) I think you should only change a few things to … For example: "It is the hand will not loosen, but it was Grip even tighter. "This sentence is redundant and sounds awkward. If I change it, it sounds like this:" The more I tried to solve the hand, the tighter the grip was. "or" The hand tightened, crushing my ____" (regardless of the source – chest, neck, arms, etc.) "I started to feel sweat run down my arm, or was it sweat, I felt? "Eh?" This record leaves me with a glance how O_o because it sounds awkward. Later, the reader finds that there was blood, so that one could say: "I felt something run down my arm. I told myself it was sweating, trying hard to not to believe it could be something else. "" But there were also purple blobs and patches "Personally, I think, could the word" blob ". For me, it sounds pretty childish, and not a word I would describe the spots are on my arms. It would sound better if you just like that dark purple spots. You're pretty good at writing, especially for someone who is only 13 years old. I congratulate you for this post. I think you are a very good writer one day make. I hope I did not sound too critical, but there are always improvements to be made ^ _ ^

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